Top Ten Movies of 2009 and More!
Saw a total of 127 new movies this last year (which is usually my average per year). Still some new movies missing (though not very many), so this list will be constantly revised in the future. It was pretty much a great year for film. A lot of highlights, but also a lot of dissapointments. Here's my top ten -
1. Watchmen
2. Avatar
3. Star Trek
4. Inglourious Basterds
5. The Hangover
6. District 9
7. Zombieland
8. Drag Me To Hell
9. Fantastic Mr. Fox
10. The Road
Runners-Up: Crank 2: High Voltage, Extract, Terminator Salvation, Saw VI, Martyrs
Watchmen by far is the best movie of the year, if not the whole decade. (Well, for me anyways.) It's not very often a movie comes along like this. I remember the director even reached out to the fans for them to go see it again (because of the poor box office) so that maybe there WOULD BE more movies like this again in the future. Sadly, that did not happen. The 3-hour director's cut is also amazing. When I bought it I watched it 3 times in 2 days. Underrated.
Avatar - already reached #25 on IMDB's Top 250 list. I helped it get there. Worth the 10 year wait. Also the best looking movie ever made.
Star Trek - Never has a franchise gotten such an awesome reboot. I loved the film so much, I immediately became a Trekkie (even though I'm a huge Star Wars fan). I got the Original Series Season One on blu-ray, became addicted to it, and tivo'd every rerun of Enterprise and Next Generation all summer long. I even attended the Star Trek convention in Las Vegas, and saw William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, George Takai, Brent Spiner, Jonathan Frakes, Zachary Quinto, and many more. I bought a Star Trek uniform, and planned to where it out in public everywhere I went. But the first time I did, someone called me a faggot. People just don't understand.
Inglourious Basterds - My favorite Quentin Tarantino film? Definitely. Saw it twice in the theatre. I even liked Brad Pitt for once. And loved seeing one of my favorite horror directors (Eli Roth - Hostel, Cabin Fever) in a big role. He was fucking awesome!
The Hangover - By far this years biggest phenomenon and box office success story. You'd think a small comedy like this would gross maybe $50 million, TOPS. It grossed almost 300. It's also one of the funniest movies I've seen in years. And I've been a longtime fan of Zack Galafinikas, and after this he's finally gotten the recognition he deserves. GREAT comedian.
District 9 - What a nice surprise. Amazingly well done. Very realistic looking. Really broke the mold here with what a sci-fi film is supposed to be like. Original.
Zombieland - As great as I expected it to be. Maybe the best comedy/horror movie ever made. Glad its even OK for kids. I was finally able to share with my nephew my love of zombie movies. Woody Harrelson was fucking awesome in this too.
Drag Me To Hell - Sam Raimi's triumphant return to the horror genre, harkening back to his Evil Dead days. But I seemed to be the only one who loved it.
Fantastic Mr. Fox - Wes Anderson is one of my favorite directors (Royal Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic). I was skeptical about what looked like a kids' film, but was blown away. George Clooney's voice was a great addition.
The Road - By far the saddest movie I've seen this year. And I tend to like depressing and dark movies like this more than happier ones. Astonishingly bleak.
The Top Ten (bottom 10?) WORST movies of 2009 -
1. Stan Helsing
2. Fame (these first 2 should be tied)
3. Land of the Lost
4. Duplicity
5. S. Darko
6. The Blind Side
7. Sorority Row
8. Paul Blart: Mall Cop
9. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel
10. Michael Jackson's This Is It
Biggest Dissapointments of the Year -
Friday the 13th
The remake. I was sick the whole week before it came out so I watched every old Friday the 13th movie in a row (probably my all-time favorite franchise). And then this turned out to be another awful remake, much like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I cherised a lot of these horror films when I was a kid, and always have high hopes for the remake. I guess I'm an optimist. Still looking forward to next year's Nightmare on Elm Street though. Hope I'm not dissapointed again.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
I'm always pissed off when one of my favorite cartoons from the '80s is butchered on the big screen. Shockingly bad. My main beef with it is what they did to the characters, either changing them too much or not including vital ones at all. Such a letdown.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Same beef here with liking something as a kid (in this case, X-Men comic books) and wait, just read the same thing I wrote about G.I. Joe, it applies here.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
See above 2 arguments. Also, the movie was an awesome piece of shit.
S. Darko
They took a major cult classic and butchered the memory of it. Shockingly horrible. Was so excited about it I almost bought it even. Thank god for fucking Netflix.
Fanboys
Long-shelved movie about 4 friends who try to break into Lucas ranch to steal the new Star Wars film since one of them has cancer and will die before it comes out. What a great concept! So, three years of wanting to see it. Turned out to be one of the stupidest, unfunniest movie of the year.
The Final Destination
Loved the first 3, so the new one has got to be good, right? Absolutely not. Not even the awesome 3-D could save it.
I'm more partial to horror movies, and with my new subscription to Fangoria Magazine, I found more new horror movies than I ever have in years. So, here's my best horror films of the year:
Drag Me To Hell, Saw VI, Martyrs, Orphan, A Perfect Getaway, Jennifer's Body, Pandorum, Halloween II, Deadgirl, The Fourth Kind, The Box, Paranormal Activity, Trick 'r Treat, Last House on the Left, Surveillance, Left for Dead, The Burrowers, My Bloody Valentine, The Hills Run Red, Mum & Dad, The Haunting in Connecticut, Nature's Grave, How to Be a Serial Killer, End of the Line, One Eyed Monster, and Infestation
The worst - Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead, Gnaw, The Mutant Chronicles, The Final Destination, The Devil's Tomb, The Unborn, Book of Blood
My full list for 2009 (with IMDB scale ratings) -
1. Watchmen - 10
2. Avatar - 10
3. Star Trek - 10
4. Inglourious Basterds - 10
5. The Hangover - 10
6. District 9 - 10
7. Zombieland - 10
8. Drag Me To Hell - 10
9. Fantastic Mr. Fox - 10
10. The Road - 10
11. Crank 2: High Voltage - 10
12. Extract - 10
13. Terminator Salvation - 10
14. Saw VI - 10
15. Martyrs - 10
16. Defiance - 10
17. Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder - 10
18. Iron Maiden: Flight 666 - 10
19. Bruno - 10
20. Orphan - 9
21. A Perfect Getaway - 9
22. Jennifer’s Body - 9
23. Pandorum - 9
24. Halloween II - 9
25. Deadgirl - 9
26. The Fourth Kind - 9
27. The Men Who Stare at Goats - 9
28. The Box - 9
29. Whip It - 9
30. Julie & Julia - 9
31. Surrogates - 9
32. Outlander - 9
33. The Invention of Lying - 9
34. Paranormal Activity - 9
35. The Soloist - 9
36. 9 - 9
37. All About Steve - 9
38. Trick ‘r Treat - 9
39. Grace - 9
40. Gran Torino - 9
41. Push - 9
42. Last House on the Left - 9
43. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans - 9
44. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire - 9
45. Knowing - 9
46. The Uninvited - 9
47. Surveillance - 9
48. Anvil! The Story of Anvil - 9
49. Laid To Rest - 9
50. The Burrowers - 9
51. 2012 - 8
52. Funny People - 8
53. Gake no ue no Ponyo (Ponyo) - 8
54. Up in the Air - 8
55. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - 8
56. Taking Woodstock - 8
57. Management - 8
58. Ninja Assassin - 8
59. Law Abiding Citizen - 8
60. Observe and Report - 8
61. Sunshine Cleaning - 8
62. Where the Wild Things Are - 8
63. Friday the 13th - 8
64. Obsessed - 8
65. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day - 8
66. My Bloody Valentine - 8
67. The Hills Run Red - 8
68. Mum & Dad - 8
69. I Love You, Man - 8
70. New in Town - 8
71. Away We Go - 8
72. Brothers - 8
73. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - 8
74. The Haunting in Connecticut - 8
75. Dai-Nihonjin (Big Man Japan) - 8
76. Long Weekend (Nature’s Grave) - 8
77. How to Be a Serial Killer - 8
78. Everybody’s Fine - 8
79. Angels & Demons - 8
80. End of the Line - 8
81. One Eyed Monster - 8
82. The Informant! - 8
83. He’s Just Not That Into You - 8
84. Infestation - 8
85. The Children - 7
86. Love Happens - 7
87. Capitalism: A Love Story - 7
88. Header - 7
89. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant - 7
90. New Moon - 7
91. Transylmania - 7
92. The Stepfather - 6
93. Couples Retreat - 6
94. The Hurt Locker - 6
95. The Proposal - 6
96. Year One - 6
97. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - 6
98. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard - 6
99. The Steam Experiment (The Chaos Experiment) - 6
100. Whiteout - 6
101. The Ugly Truth - 6
102. Pirate Radio (The Boat That Rocked) - 6
103. Book of Blood - 6
104. The Unborn - 6
105. The Devil’s Tomb - 6
106. Inkheart - 6
107. Green Lantern: First Flight - 6
108. Confessions of a Shopaholic - 5
109. The Final Destination - 5
110. Mutant Chronicles - 5
111. Adventureland - 4
112. (500) Days of Summer - 4
113. Severed Ways: The Norse Discovery of America - 4
114. Gamer - 4
115. Gnaw - 4
116. Fanboys - 2
117. Michael Jackson’s This Is It - 2
118. Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead - 2
119. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel - 2
120. Paul Blart: Mall Cop - 2
121. Sorority Row - 2
122. The Blind Side - 1
123. S. Darko - 1
124. Duplicity - 1
125. Land of the Lost - 1
126. Fame - 1
127. Stan Helsing - 0
Till next year,
www.generalbeers.com